How Not To Fall In Love With The Wrong Person

Last week Toni Payne vented again on Instagram about her broken

marriage and how she's been called "every name in the book" because

she loved the wrong person. The issue caused some stir on social

media.



We may never find out for sure what really happened between her and

9ice and what made them divorce within a year. However, maybe Toni is

right. Maybe she and 9ice weren't really right for each other. Maybe

they fell in love with the wrong person.



Toni Payne and 9ice

Sometimes when people go into a relationship with someone, they soon

realise that the person's not right for them and that they're

essentially incompatible. But they go on with the relationship anyway.

Sometimes they do this in hope that things will change along the line

and that they'll be able to fix the situation. However, this often

turns out to be a costly miscalculation, and relationships like that

inevitably reach breaking point and implode.



In the movie God's Not Dead, Amy is dating a young business executive

and her doctor has just told her she has cancer. But when she meets

her boyfriend and gives him the news, his attitude changes and he

starts to hint that he'll leave her.



So she asks him in surprise, "I thought you love me. Why didn't I see

this coming?"



He replies, "Because you saw what you wanted to see."



Many people are like that. They're so caught up in the relationship

that they fail to see the handwriting on the wall. What they see is

the looks, talent, possession, and all that stuff. Then when things

get messed up and they realise they've been in love with the wrong

person the whole time, they wonder why they didn't see it coming. The

thing is, they saw what they wanted to see and not what was actually

there.



People also fall in love with the wrong person when they don't have a

clear idea of what they want right from the beginning. It's like going

shopping without deciding what you want or what would be best for you

and then expecting to get a great purchase. So many people go into a

relationship without first determining what kind of man or woman would

be right for them.



That's why even the wrong person seems right to them, because they

haven't prepared to sort the wheat from the chaff.



There are also times when people get into or hang onto a relationship

because of sympathy or indebtedness. They feel that this person has

done a lot for them and that they're indebted to them. So even though

they can see that this person isn't right for them, they stick to the

person anyway.



It's the same way with sympathy. People who make this mistake feel

that the person really needs them right now and that they NEED to be

with this person. So they get sucked in, and eventually they realise

they've put themselves in an unnecessary situation.



Choosing the right person is a very crucial step in developing a

lasting relationship. It takes a lot of caution and sense. So when we

find we're with the wrong person, it's best to stop hoping we can fix

them or the relationship and find the courage to move on. It's also

important to pay close attention to the signs when we're in a

relationship and not get carried away by the nice things about the

person. We need to clearly determine what kind of person would be

right for us and make sure to vet people before committing to them.

Relationship with the right person is never based on sympathy or

indebtedness.



9ice and Toni Payne have shown us so far that the wrong people for us

aren't necessarily bad people. They're simply not right for us — and

when we take this for granted, we sign up for problems that might take

years to resolve, or might never be resolved.

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